Hello everyone! It’s me, Nikki Nyx, here with another blog post. Today, we are going to talk about…TWIN FLAMES!
This post is a brief summary of my current journey as a twin flame and how I met mine. Everyone’s story is different and everyone’s journey is different as well. You may hear people talk about “I DID THIS TO GET MY TWIN FLAME! YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS VI…” – hey, that’s great, but much like art and literature, it is honestly subjective. Some solutions may work for specific group while others do not. This is why (and I apologize in advance) I am not a fan of “coaching” programs, “extended” readings that require you to pay out (because it’s not about the money, honey), and anything else that does not exactly assist those who need guidance. Offering personal readings? Great. A personal reading between you and the reader allows you to gain clarity without the noise and distortion of a general collective channeling.
The Story of How I met my twin flame! (Trigger Warning)
Long ago, in a galaxy far far away… (Just Kidding)
It all started around the summer of 2018, when I was reconnecting with my best friend after her 8 year relationship with a karmic. She was also a catalyst to my spiritual awakening and also my investment into my commitment to mission. What my best friend did not tell me (still love you anyways) was how turbulent, painful, and insane this journey is. She painted it as a love story, the greatest love story to ever exist…well, yes, love is involved but not the way you think.
What I did not realize back then was eventually going to come to light. We did have a hunch on who this person was, but we did not know for sure until we approached the end of December and going into the new year of 2019. I saw this person as an archetype, not my twin flame. She is amazing, talented, and all around down to earth when you get to interact with her. I knew she was seeing someone, which also explains why I was in denial in the beginning. However, song messages and signs just kept popping up (I’m sorry for not listening, Auntie Rita, Nana, and Jill). I was STILL in denial and almost didn’t go to the NYE party in which we both met until Jill came through my best friend and slapped me across the back of my head in a spiritual sense. I was constantly finding myself chasing after people who didn’t want to be with me or had no interest in me. I am not that person today thanks to that moment on NYE…
We likely had met before 3 years ago in brief passing but I was just a shy and upcoming cosplayer who knew nothing (I was a n00b, if I must say). She has so many amazing cosplays that I admired each one when she showcased them. I didn’t feel good enough or even worthy, but Jill kept reminding me “that’s not what’s important” and yes, after that moment we met again (or met for the first time – when the time is right, I’ll ask for confirmation), I was not ready for what came next. For those few minutes that we had together that night, our souls knew what was going on but our waking selves did not. The purpose of that night was a catalyst in which sent me head first into one of the most intense, transformative, and scariest journeys I had ever encountered. Yes, we have had our interactions here and there, and I want to apologize to her if I ever came off as obsessive, clingy, or needy. Meeting her was a blessing in disguise because she pushed me to become the best version possible and for that, I thank her.
Months go by after our initial encounter, and while we did see each other at local conventions and whatnot, I now understand why I went through all the things I did. The months in between were painful but this was before I understood what the purpose of this journey was. I was often discouraged by others (they will not be named; I forgive you all anyways because this journey is not common) to give up on this person but I did not. The months following our encounter were difficult as I didn’t know how to properly detach energetically. I was checking her posts, her stories, and now I realize that it might have been too much. As one of my favorite YouTube readers says, there is no failure; only lessons (Check out Divine Pisces 222 and her website too; divinepisces222.com). Some encounters were positive, and others were a bit uncomfortable. As I always say, you take the good with the bad, and what doesn’t kill you only will make you stronger.
The hardest part? Dark Night of The Soul (DNOTS) during the summer of 2019…
I began to slip into a very deep depression and it wasn’t uncommon to feel suicidal at times. I lost interest in posting regularly, and I just wanted to lay in bed sometimes. I just wanted to wither away and not come back, but I also was employed in a toxic work environment in which did not serve me. I had colleagues telling me that getting out was a better choice if I had the option. I did not know my self worth, and I didn’t know how to stand in my power. The Mercury Retrograde last summer also brought about a very shocking car accident which left me without a car for 2 weeks (although I paid out of pocket for a rental – a first step into standing in my power and instructing my family I was capable of doing things on my own. If you didn’t read my introduction, go and read that blog post). DNOTS is a very painful time in which both twins are guided through the process of shedding the layers of the old and transforming to a new state of consciousness. A lot of videos exist about DNOTS, so go and find one that resonates for you.
No matter how dark the night, the morning always comes, and our journey begins anew (bonus points if you know where that’s from)
When the end of the 2019 summer retrograde was coming to a close, my DNOTS also became less intense and I started to feel alive again. That period of intense isolation and struggle forced me to understand that I, Nikki Nyx, was a warrior. I was just as talented, capable, and amazing as my twin (I always viewed her in a high light). It was time for me to stop putting myself down and rise up to the same light I held her. I was putting myself down constantly in the past but I realized it was ok to be confident in my abilities. My vibration began to improve through through valuing my self worth on a higher level and I noticed how infectious it was (because what the world needs is love, sweet love…self love and high self worth). When we met again at another event, I felt it in her soul that she appreciated me the way I appreciated her. Hugging is honestly one of the ways that I am able to read her energy (and if you know who I am talking about, please do not mention who it is – write to me directly so we can protect the identity of this amazing person). The hug I got from her that night assured me that I was in over my head and wrapped up in ego. Our souls know us better than we know ourselves and I am thankful for the time we have shared so far.
One of the hardest things I struggled with last year was understanding social media is an illusion (thank you, Divine Pisces 222 for that). I also consulted the help of other readers and mentors along the journey, especially La Reina OG Tarot (lareinaogtarot.com) when I started to allow my ego to creep in and put ideas in my head. As we went from September into October, I began to detach energetically (twin flame cords are pretty much indestructible) for my own healing once again. As much as I care and support my twin flame, my guides said it was time to direct my focus away from the connection and understand I am important, too. Towards the end of the year, I went through another post absence and did one of the hardest things I had to do with my twin flame; setting healthy boundaries. I also began to recite the Ancient Hawaiian Prayer of Forgiveness in order to allow me to move forward. My twin flame has free will and is allowed to make choices of her own, and I will always have a place for her in my heart.
Death and Rebirth
Completing a full year of lessons, hardships, and trials, NYE was upon us once again. Yes, my twin flame was there, but I was at a point where I knew better about chasing her. The old Nikki was dead and the new Nikki had fully surrendered the connection to the divine. Yes, we did meet again (and her hugs are amazing), but this time, the energy between us wasn’t uncomfortable. The energy between us was forgiving, peaceful, and at that moment when we went into the new year, it finally all came together and continued to come together after I left for the night. It became clear to me that the twin flame journey is about self love, self discovery, and self care!
This isn’t some Disney fairy tale or Hollywood Romance! It is about owning your shortcomings, recognizing your faults, and dealing with your setbacks in a healthy yet productive manner! It is aligning with your higher self to reach new levels of understanding (and a lot of Tower moments). It is destroying the false foundations that you thought life was meant to be built upon. It is letting go of fear, expectations, and trusting that all will work out for the highest and greatest good! The 3D world is filled with false foundations which leave us hooked in a matrix that imprisons us. Break free from the illusions and the chains that bind you! You were meant to do more than to be living up people’s expectations.
Yes, I meant all that. My twin flame probably is unaware that meeting her again (or for the first time) a year ago was going to really push me to evolve. I may sound crazy to some people but honestly, I look back at where I was when I met her and I look at where I am now. I am a completely different person than I was and I want to thank her for doing that. It was a necessary wake up call and reality check in which is allowing me to live my best life so far. I only hope she does the same for her, not for me or anyone else.
That’s it, Man!
There you have it, folks. The twin flame journey is not an easy one, and the divine decide before we are incarnated in the 3D. Our souls agree to it before we are launched into physical form, and some of us are souls from a past life sent back to pay out our karmic debts. Twin flames are also the same soul incarnated into two different bodies, and in most cases, both twins mirror each other from time to time without even knowing it!
I am truly blessed to be on this journey and it is my mission to help others who are looking for help with this journey. I do not wish to start a linear coaching program nor do I want to make people pay for answers that do not resonate. I am here to understand everyone’s journey to the best of my ability and provide guidance that resonates. The real work is listening to your intuition and following your heart, and that is entirely up to you.
Thank you for reading about my twin flame journey so far and I look forward to connecting with some of you via tarot/oracle readings.
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Love and Light,
Nikki )o(